Two Months Apart
by katesshadow
Summary: Booth and Brennan have gotten too close for comfort. Brennan leaves for a few months. What led up to her leaving?
1. Chapter 1

Firstly - Thank you a billion trillion times to WOATCAPIITON for the beta and help! You rock my socks!

Secondly - This is a WIP.

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"_**You say that you need space**_

_**You need time  
And clear your troubled mind  
Seems you are having doubts  
So you've got to go this one alone"**_

We needed space apart.

That's what I told myself when I'd committed to this case. I was told 2 months at least, to go through a mass grave that was found about 30 miles out of Mexico City, on the outskirts of a village called Teotihuacán. A month and a half later and I was still trying to convince myself desperately, that this had been the best plan of action.

Everything was becoming too familiar with us, too close for comfort. I found myself wanting to pull away from these feelings. The whole, 'fight or flight' reaction. Everything inside mewas screaming to fly, to create some distance, to get away.But I sometimes found myself daydreaming about fighting to stay sometimes, _before_ I realized what I was thinking about and quashed those thoughts to the back of my mind. Way back. Emotion didn't help. It confused things. And I'm not the sort of woman to fall victim to emotions I couldn't handle anyway. Sexual attraction, yeah sure, I could handle that. Anything more than that just got too complicated. We're partners. Things can't get complicated between us; it wouldn't be rational, sensible or ethical. A sense of detachment is needed to maintain emotional equilibrium. The job always had to remain my main focus. My job would always remain my top priority.

----------Three months earlier----------------

"_**Wake up in a dream  
Frozen fear**_

_**I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep."**_

It was late whenBooth showed up at my door. Claiming to have come over because of his concern for me and my disrupted sleeping as of late. After the Gravedigger kidnapping, I found it difficult to sleep. I craved the comfort of another presence there. To close my eyes would be like an invitation for nightmares; another time of my day where I would be haunted by the memories that I tried so desperately to suppress during my waking hours.

"I brought food with me tonight," Booth says, offering a small smile after letting himself in.

"I've already eaten, but thanks" I say with a little more bite than I intended. Booth was just trying to be a good friend. Friends check up on each other. Look out for each other. So why was I getting my guard up at the fact that Booth was here, actually being a friend. I think it was the very notion that I did, indeed, find comfort in his presence.

"Bones..." Booth starts, peering into my face. I duck my head before he can see how close to losing it I actually am. "Temperance," I look up at that utterance. I like the sound of my name on his lips. "You look like you haven't slept in years." He says truthfully, and without the constraint I'm used to people having around me.

"Gee thanks, Booth. You really know how to lift a woman's spirits." I mumble, knowing exactly how I look. It was true; I hadn't slept in days, and my appearance was suffering for it. Scrutinizing my reflection earlier, I was dismayed to see the dark rings shadowing my eyes, and the pallor tone to my skin that only highlighted my fatigue.

He scoffed."Bones, you're not just any woman. I know I can tell you the truth and you'll take it. It's a great quality to have. Don't get all girly on me now!" He answers with a playfulsmirk.

I close my eyes briefly, and it's all I can do to pry them back open. I rub my eyes and turn to him with as much patience as I can conjure up."Look, I'm tired.Maybe you should just go. I'm not much company tonight." I can feel myself slipping, worn down by lack of sleep and draining cases previous.

"I'm going to stay tonight, Bones." He saysdeterminedly.

"No, seriously Booth, it's fine." I argue.

"I'll sleep on the sofa bed." He insists.

I look up at him quickly, my guard slowly creeping up. 'I don't think so, Booth'.

Booth throws his hands up dramatically. "Bones, I promise not to take advantage of you." He jokes.

I laugh wearily. "No, I couldn't put you out like that Booth. You need your sleep too."

"Bones, I'll be fine on the sofa bed. You'll sleep a whole lot better knowing someone else is here, believe me." He says in that tone that warranted no argument.

"Fine,**" **I give in, too tired to put up much of a fight. "I'll get you some pillows and a blanket."

"Can I also grab a shower? It's been a long day." He says sheepishly, shoving his hands in his back pockets and rocking back on his heels.

"Sure. No problem. I'll go grab you a towel as well. Do you have any PJ's?"

"Not with me. Why do you have some spare just in case guys stay over?" He counters with a grin.

"Well, no, but I may have some of Pete's old PJ bottoms somewhere that I think would fit."

"Uh, no. That's ok, Bones, I'll just sleep in my boxers." He said says with a grimace, a look similar to Angela's when a fresh body got wheeled in.

"Ok, well if you change your mind..." I answer nonchalantly.

Booth started pulling out the sofa bed, so I decided to get some pillows and a blanket. I grab two pillows off my bed, since I didn't use them all anyway. Heading towards the hall closet, I pull down a fluffy blanket and a towel for him to use.

"Here you go Booth," I toss him the towel, blanket and pillows.

"Thanks, Bones. I'll be out in no time," He throws over his shoulder as he stalks to the bathroom

I decide to keep myself busy while he showered. I start by setting his bed up, and can't help but smirk at how much Angela would love these circumstances

I throw the blanket over the thin mattress, and then set the pillows at the top of the bed.

Grabbing my manuscript from the coffee table, I set myself down on the newly made bed and wait for Booth while looking over my lasted chapter.

I feel my eyes start to droop, and my head gets that unbearably heavy feeling.I hadn't realized how tired I actually was until now. Maybe Booth was right. Having someone else here may be like a security blanket. Not that _I _needed one. But then again, maybe I will sleep through the whole night tonight.

I rested the manuscript on my lap and laid my head back onto the pillows.

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_**"If I could fix myself, I'd... **_

_**But it's too late for me. I won't let you fall apart."**_

The bathroom was steamed and the surfaces damp whenI got out of the shower and toweled myself off. I glance down at my boxers residing on the floor. _Yeah, Bones. Like I was gonna wear your ex-boyfriend's PJ bottoms. _

I pick them up and shove them on. Throwing on the t-shirt I had been wearing that day, I gave it a wary sniff, and concluded that itdidn't smell, but still. Deodorant... Hmm...

"Hey, Bones! You got any deodorant?!" I shout through the door while searching her bathroom cabinet.

I found some Rexona. Female deodorant. Great. Oh well, it's gonna have to do for the night. I wonder what she's up to...

I dry my hair quickly before leaving the bathroom.

"Bones, where do you want me to put..." I stop suddenly. Bones has set my bed out and was currently lying atop it, her new manuscript on her stomach. _She looks so content and vulnerable in her sleep. _I gaze at her._A sight she would hate anyone to see. A sight she would hate me to see._

I gently pick up the manuscript. No dedication yet, I notice. Laying it back on the coffee table, I watch as she flips onto her side, a content sigh escaping her in her sleep.

I debate with myself on whether or not I should wake her. Ithought better of it. If she's actually sleeping, then who am I to wake her? It was why I was here. To help her relax longer enough sleep.

I get up and retrieve a blanket from her bed down the hall. Bones was sleeping like a lump atop the blankets on the sofa bed, and I was loath to pull them out from under her.

I throw it over her gently, and just watched her sleeping for a few moments. It was refreshing seeing her unguarded like this. Everyone is vulnerable in their sleep, and Bones proved it so.

I've seen it before, but I'd never let on to it. She was independent. And it was that independence that carved her very being. It was who she was, who she recognized herself as.

That's part of the reason why I respect her so much.

I turned off all the lights, then thought about going to sleep in her bed, but thought better of it. If she woke up during the night, another presence may be comforting. I slip into bed next to her, carefully sticking to my side. I didn't want to step over the boundary. She was already going to be defensive enough; with the fact that we'd slept together. It was just something that we'd have to deal with tomorrow. Like the saying goes: We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But for now, we're still on the other side.Bones being cranky with me for a few minutes, was something I was willing to risk.

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Let me know what you think, so I know whether to keep going or not! Reviews Luff!


	2. Disorientation

Thanks to woatcapiiton for the beta again!!!! Legend!

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_**"Just because I want someone when I'm alone,**_

_**Doesn't mean I'm helpless,**_

_**That I can't stand on my own."**_

I awoke slowly from a deep sleep and stretched my legs out, before realizing I was laying on something hard, and warm. It was breathing, had a heart beat - which I could clearly hear, and half of my body draped over it. An arm was protectively snaked around my middle.

Before I willed my eyes to open, I thought back to last night. Booth came over, insisted on staying and had a shower. I re-read my final chapter, and... Oh my goodness…

I opened my eyes cautiously, seeing a nicely sculptured chest, which my upper torso was comfortably splayed on. I carefully drew my arm away from his chest. I looked up to see Booth's face. Disorientation was soon replaced with a fevered annoyance; all in an alarmingly fast pace.

I kicked the blankets back and disentangled myself with Booth.

I looked down at his still sleeping form with a huff. What had happened? I wracked my brain, but nothing of substance came. I remembered setting the bed up, getting my manuscript, Booth being in the shower, then... nothing. I still had my clothes on, so that ruled out sex... I hope. We hadn't drunk anything. Had we?!

I poked at Booth's shoulder. Then, prodded. Then pushed harder. "Booth, wake up." He wasn't budging. This man was infuriating even in his sleep! "Booth! Wake Up!" I hissed into his ear.

He woke with a start.

"Bones, what the hell are you doing? It's, like..." He reached for his watch on the floor, "Ten past six in the morning! What the hell are you doing waking me up at ridiculous o'clock?!" He huffed, and then threw the blanket over his head.

"Booth, I am going to kick your butt if you don't get out of that bed right now!" I warned, my tone dropping to a dangerously low level.

"Geez, Bones. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He said grumpily, sitting upright.

"It is an absolute impossibility to "wake up on the wrong side of a bed"; there is no possible way to prove that theory. I hate when people say those sort of idioms. And, speaking of beds, what were you and I doing sleeping in the same bed? I don't seem to remember extending _that_ invitation last night." I said bitterly.

"Whoa, Bones! It's ok. Nothing happened." He said defensively.

"Yeah, well me waking up splayed all over your chest and your arm around my waist, kinda indicates otherwise." I said heatedly.

Even in my head my words seemed unfair and unreasonable. But I wasn't letting go. Not just yet. He had some explaining to do.

"Bones, listen to me." He said patiently, like I was a child or something. "I got out of the shower, and found you asleep on the sofa bed. I didn't have the heart to wake you, so decided to let you sleep here." His eyes were probing mine, like he was willing me to see his side of things.

What he said made sense, since I didn't remember anything after him being in the shower. But, still, the stubborn independence inside me wasn't ready to let up.

"Ok, so back to my question: where did you sleeping in the same bed as me come into the picture?" I threw at him weakly, but still.

"Well, I had thoughts of sleeping in your bed, but then thought you probably would like that a lot less than the current situation."

Ok, he may have a point there. I wouldn't have liked him sleeping in my bed. It would have been, well, weird.

"Also, I thought with you not sleeping and all, if you woke in the middle of the night, another presence may be comforting for you. Make you feel not so alone." He looked up at me sheepishly, as though he was afraid of what my reaction would be.

The last comment softened my resolve a bit. He risked me getting angry with him just in case I woke up from a nightmare during the night. He knew I would be angry and confused, but he'd still done it.

It wasn't logical for Booth to act how he had. Self preservation was supposed to run higher than any other emotion. I didn't quite understand it, but it somehow was, well, Booth I guess. He was an anomaly to the species at times. He kept proving that.

"I guess I _did_ sleep well last night. For the first time in…since Hodgins and I were buried. I actually slept through the night." I started in amazement. "Which, is a very reasonable reaction to the trauma we went through. Even though psychology is a soft science, I do think it probably has its believable points to it. As an example, Hodgins and I, both haven't slept properly since. Which can both be explained and reasoned. Even though there is no threat of danger..."

"Bones, you're rambling. And you're welcome." Smiling, he got out of bed, grabbed his towel, and staggered to the bathroom.

I felt a flush creep up into my cheeks. Ok, so that was the best apology he was going to get. He knew that, and accepted it for what it was. One of the reasons he... got so under my skin, as the saying goes, I guess. Not that I entirely got what that meant. There was nothing but muscle, fat, blood, ligaments, veins and bones under my skin.

Maybe it was all psychobabble again…

--

"_**Be my illusion and I'll be your distraction  
I'll take you on"**_

She had tossed around a bit during the night. At one point she had cried out in her sleep, the contended look on her face, replaced with a mask of fear. The monster within, it seemed, was desperately clawing to escape. I reached out to her and attempted to roll her over onto her side. I always had nightmares when I slept on my back. Maybe it was the same for her.

As soon as I had her on her side, she scooted closer to me, like she was freezing, craving the warmth from my body. She got herself comfortable on my chest, throwing her arm over me. The crying out had ceased, her furrowed brow smoothed out.

"Great. There goes my sleeping for the rest of the night." I grumbled softly, though I was hardly put out. I could catch up on sleep later.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew it was sunrise. I looked down to find Bones still sleeping. I'd shifted onto my side during the night, but her head was still resting in the crook of my shoulder, and her arm still resting on my torso.

She looked so contented in her sleep, so at peace with the world. I knew as soon as she woke up, the storm would start brewing. And I had a feeling it would be a big one. I enjoyed the peace while it lasted.

I felt Bones begin to stir as her body clock started to wake her. Here it comes...

Her hand crept back against my chest. Her head shifted slightly. I guessed she was looking up to see who she was lying on. I couldn't open my eyes just yet. Best to pretend to be asleep. She can come to her own conclusions, and we'll take it from there.

I felt her kick the blankets back and get out of the bed. I could hear her huffing. I bet she's going over "everything" and wanting to know what, why and how. I've definitely gotta stay "asleep" as long as I can.

Although, Bones being cranky is always a bit of fun to watch.

I felt a poke at my shoulder. Another poke. "Booth, wake up." Nope still staying asleep.

Then a shove! A shove accompanied with a "Booth! Wake up!" Being hissed right into my ear.

I cracked an eye open, and looked wearily into her flushed face. "Bones, what the hell are you doing? It's, like..." I reached for my watch, "Ten past six in the morning! What the hell are you doing waking me up at ridiculous o'clock?" I huffed dramatically to make it seem real, then threw the blanket back over my head.

She yanked it right off the bed. "Booth, I am going to kick your butt if you don't get out of that bed right now!" She growled at me. I had to bite my lip to stop myself laughing at her. She was so angry. I wonder what scene she had conjured up in her mind...

"Geez, Bones. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?!" I said, sitting up against the pillows, grumpily.

Then she went on about some sort of idiom or something... Squints and their big words. Why can't they just use normal words? Her voice filtered back through to me again... "What were you and I doing sleeping in the same bed? I don't seem to remember extending _that_ invitation last night." Whoa, was she upset... Over nothing!

"Whoa, Bones! It's ok. Nothing happened." I said defensively.

"Yeah, well me waking up splayed all over your chest and your arm around my waist, kind of indicates otherwise." She sounded like she was about to pounce on a bad guy.

Ok, damage control time...

"Bones, listen to me." I said patiently, "I got out of the shower, and found you asleep on the sofa bed. I didn't have the heart to wake you, so decided to let you sleep here." I was willing her to see it how I did. The evidence showed we'd slept together, but that was it. Sleep.

"Ok, so back to my question, where did you sleeping in the same bed as me come into the picture?" She said, kind of half-heartedly. I was breaking her down a bit... Ok logic, go with logic, Booth.

"Well, I had thoughts of sleeping in your bed, but then thought you probably would like that a lot less than the current situation. Also, I thought with you not sleeping and all, if you woke in the middle of the night, another presence may be comforting for you. Make you feel not so alone." I looked up at her, hoping this had gotten through to her, but still not wanting to hear her next argument.

She looked at me thoughtfully, mulling over her thoughts. I felt as though I was a set of bones to be identified.

"I guess I _did_ sleep well last night. For the first time in…since Hodgins and I were buried. I actually slept through the night. Which, is a very reasonable reaction to the trauma we went through. Even though psychology..."

I smiled. She was trying to rationalize everything again. Not being a normal female and breaking down, or whatever. Bones was different. Bones, was…Bones. You couldn't characterize her. Not really.

"Bones, you're rambling. And you're welcome." I said as I picked up my towel from the night before and stalked into the bathroom for a shower.

I chuckled to myself. Today was gonna be a good day.


	3. Two Months Apart Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Booth had been over every night, bar one, for the past week.

I had to admit, I slept a whole lot better knowing someone else was there. It was totally stupid, but I felt a strange sense of serenity when he was here at night. I know Angela had also been staying with Hodgins over the past few weeks too. Which kind of eased the fact that my need for someone to be there to sleep through the whole night felt incongruous.

After that first night, Booth had slept on the sofa bed, by himself. I made sure I was tucked into my own bed, before he was out of the shower at night.

We had gotten into a sort of groove. We both made our way seperately to and from work. He would go to his place and pick up a few things, and come to my place. Every night I protested that he didn't need to come over every night. Even my protests seemed weak to my own ears.

He hadn't turned up that night, after I freaked out when I found myself entangled with Booth on the sofa bed. He had called in at lunch and said something about needing to do something that night. I replied with an absent "Booth, you don't need to schedule your life around my sleeping patterns." So that night I "slept" on my own. Not that much sleeping had been involved.

I would just get to sleep, and then it felt like I was back there, buried, with Hodgins. The smell of dirt and stale air was there and the smell would overtake my nostrils and throat. My lungs would burn with it. The desperation to escape would overcome me. Add all those elements together and you've got - no sleep.

Needless to say I spent the night in the lab, in a caffeine induced stupor.

I had rung Booth during the night.

"Bones?! What are you doing at your office so late?" He sounded rushed, and, quiet.

"I'm sorry Booth, I didn't mean to call so late. I'm at the lab just finishing off a few bits and pieces. I'll, uh, see you in the morning." I went to hang up.

"Brennan, it's fine. Hang on a sec," I heard some rustling and murmering in the background. I heard my name being mentioned. Then, "Whats up?"

"Nothing, I mean, no nothing. I'm ok." I faltered.

"Bones, have you slept yet? It's 2am." He sounded genuinely worried.

"It's 2am?! I'm so sorry Booth, I didn't realise! I must have lost track of time here. Look, I'll see you in the morning." I hung up as I heard "Bones, don't hang..."

I wondered who Booth was with. Not that I had any right knowing. But still. My inquisitive nature wanted to know.

I wondered if he was still with Cam. He didn't know, I knew. Since he was so sensitive about sex, it was probably better kept that way.

I stared at the 4th chapter of my 3rd book for what seemed an eternity, before being woken up at 7.30am by the smell of coffee on my desk.

Zack must be in, I concluded.

I sat up and rolled my shoulders and neck. Sleeping at your desk, definitely is not ideal. I needed to use my lap top more, I decided. At least then I could fall asleep on the couch.

I walked out of my office, coffee in hand, in search for Zack.

Instead, I walked into Booth.

"Mornin', Bones." He said cheerfully.

"Uh, yeah. When did you get in?" I said, walking past him, towards the platform.

"'Bout 15 minutes ago. Noticed you at your desk, so went and visited Cam." He said too casually. They've tried to pull off the whole casual, "we're friends" thing, but everyone knew that he and Cam were together.

"So, you slept here the night, hey Bones." It was a statement, not a question I realised. "I knew that was the reason why you called. Look, I know you don't want someone there, but I'm coming over tonight, uh, no, no arguments. It'll be the best thing for ya, Bones."

I went to argue, but realised it was probably futile. Booth would turn up regardless. He could be as stubborn as I, at times.

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So that's how our nights had gone.

I'd go home from work, pick up a few things and head over to Bones' place.

She had been sleeping a whole lot better, with me being there. You could see it in her eyes. They didn't look as heavy. _She_ didn't look as "heavy", like she was forcing herself to keep going everyday.

There was that one night I had stayed at Cam's. Bones had needed her own space, and Cam had asked me to come over. I thought it was a good plan, until Bones rang me at 2am, not realising it was 2am.

After that, I had stayed at her place every night. She slept in her bed, I slept on the sofa bed.

I could still hear her tossing and turning at night. Some nights I went in, just to check on her. I would smooth her hair away from her face and gently keep doing that until the nightmares eased off.

A fortnight later and this was still how our evenings were mapped out.

Until I got a call from Rebecca, needing me ot take Parker for the night. I realised I'd have to leave Bones for the night again.

"Hey, Bones. I need to take Parker for the night, tonight. So won't be able to come over tonight." I said to her over the phone.

"Sure, Booth. Have a good night with him." She sounded distant.

"Promise me one thing though Bones. Promise me you won't stay at the lab, and that you'll try to sleep tonight." I said in a firm voice that warranted no arguments from her.

"But, I have heaps to catch up on here. I can sleep later."

Of course she would argue anyway.

"Temperance. Promise me." I said again.

I heard her let out a held breath. "Ok, fine." She didn't sound happy. But then again she never did, when she was beat.

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	4. I'm fine

**I wrote this while at work, trying to look like I was writing notes down in training. So enjoy!**

* * *

I was cranky. I didn't sleep much _again_ last night.

I couldn't understand why. That frustrated me the most.

I gave up on sleep after 3am. I kicked the blankets back and decided on a book, a glass of wine and a bath. It sometimes helped me relax after a big day.

I grabbed a book and my wine and laid back against the cold porcelain as the bath filled up. I took a few sips of my wine and tried to focus on the words on the page in front of me. I re-read the same line 5 times. In frustration, I threw the book to the ground and rested my head back against the tiles. Half an hour later I was officially a prune and over the whole trying to get relaxed theme.

I dressed in my workout gear and went into the spare room. I grabbed my iPod, since it was only 4am, my stereo would have to remain off.

A steady rock beat drummed through my ears, as my feet started pounding on the treadmill.

An hour later, lost in my own world of thoughts, I was still running. I wondered if anyone else ever willed their brains to just shut off, to stop ticking over. Just for a while.

I was meant to see a psychologist, just as a precaution. Procedures. I'd been dodging it quite well for the past few weeks. As had Hodgins. I didn't need to talk about what happened. Everyone knew what happened, everyone knew why. What was the point in going over it? It wasn't logical when the why's and what's had already been established.

What I needed was a new case, or even some in limbo cases to immerse myself into.

My body hadn't seemed to notice the workout I'd just given it. I dropped my pace down to a fast walk for a cool down. Looking down at my iPod, I saw it was 5am already.

Was I breaking my promise to Booth, by going in before working hours?

I decided it would be fine. I hadn't gone in all night, and I had tried to sleep. It would only be an hour or so before everyone else got in.

I jumped into the shower, toweled off and got dressed for the day ahead of me.

I walked back into the foggy bathroom, wiped the condensation off the mirror. I knew the image looking back at me, was me, but at the same time, the woman looking back at me looked haggard and sick. Dark circles were around her eyes, skin was sallow looking. Tiny red spider veins were appearing on the whites of her eyes.

One thing that I loved about my job was the fact that makeup was not a requisite.

Maybe today, it was going to have to be.

* * *

I knew before I'd seen her car in the underground carpark at The Jeffersonian, that she'd already be in.

I walked through the sliding glass doors and saw her hunched over a table on the platform. Her eyes intently fixed on a set of bones in front of her.

She shoved a stray wisp of hair out of her face.

Again, she looked like she'd spent the night here. So much for that promise hey Bones.

Disappointment and annoyance shot through me. The former, more so than, the latter.

I swiped my card and jumped up onto the platform.

"Bones, you promised." Her head jerked up at my voice.

Obviously she hadn't seen or heard me enter the lab. That in itself, spoke volumes. She never missed a beat. Even when I'd set Homeland Security to detain her at the airport, she'd observed my entry into the room, without even looking my way.

I shot her my 'I'm disappointed in you', parent look. It worked for Parker, I was hoping it would work for her. Although, she was _far_ from a child.

"I didn't break that promise, Booth. I've been here since 6am." She said it calmly, but her eyes were willing me to challenge her. When I said nothing, her stare dropped back down to the bones in front of her.

Right, so she'd had no sleep, yet again.

"So, did you sleep at all?" I walked up behind her, looking at the bones she was squinting at, over her shoulder. "Hey, are you wearing makeup today? Got something special on tonight, or just dressing up for me, Bones?" I winked at her, as she straightened and twisted to face me.

"Yes, I did. It was fine, slept all night. I just have a lot on at the moment, so decided to get an early start. And no, I didn't dress up 'just for you'." She stepped away from me, walked over to the other side of the table.

"Right, which is why you're such a barrel of laughs, today Bones. So does that mean you have a hot date tonight?" I said, waiting for her to bite.

"I'll assume you're referring to my disposition today, so I'm going to choose to ignore that. As for tonight, that's none of your business." She said without lifting her head from the table.

"Aw come on, Bones. No banter today? That's the crux of our relationship! You wouldn't love a good argument right about now?" I said grinning down at her.

"You know what I'd really 'love' right now? I'd 'love' to identify this man laying here in front of me, without interruption. So, do you have anything specific for me, or did you just drop by to have a chat, Booth?"

I stared at her. She held my stare. So this game again.

I knew she was lying about the sleep. I could tell just by looking at her. Makeup and all. Her attitude just confirmed it. Just like every other sleep deprived female, in that sense. Cranky, exhausted, but wouldn't let anyone know what was wrong. She was still capable of doing her duties.

How are us guys meant to know what's wrong, unless you girls tell us? I steamed silently. No point bringing that conversation up now.

She'd cut me a bit. I was only trying to be a good partner.

"Nope, no cases. Just wanted to say hi, and see how you were. Might catch ya later Bones." I turned and walked out of the lab, before she could say anything.

I knew if I left her like that, she'd stew over what was said. How she said things. Which would be good for her to do, before anyone else gets in.

Best for her to think of how her attitude affects those around her. Not everyone deals with people who can't talk back, who don't care what mood you're in. Some of us are still in the land of the living.

* * *

I knew I had been hard on Booth. I hadn't meant to be, it just came out before I could stop it.

I had to get out of this funk I was in. It wasn't productive for me, my work, or anyone around me.

With that, I pulled myself from the wreckage of my silent reverie.

The one thing I hadn't let surface, I had to let go of.

I wasn't cranky at Booth, I was cranky at myself. At the fact, that I needed another person to help me feel secure at the moment.

I wasn't quite sure on how to fix this dilemma either.

* * *

At 1pm I called her.

"Brennan" Curt, as always.

"Mood lightened up yet? We got a call out."

"Picking me up?" I could hear her packing her stuff up already. It was like dangling candy in front of a little kid at times.

"Depends if you're gonna be nice to me." I teased.

"Depends on whether you insist on teasing me full time." I heard the smile in her voice, despite the serious tone she was intent on using today.

"You know, you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town anymore." I said trying to sound serious.

"Yeah, but you and Zack kind of don't talk, so that poses a problem for you. Also, while I am aware my social skills aren't up to scratch, I do get your jokes now. Who would laugh at your jokes if I wasn't there?" She threw out lamely.

"Maybe we could get some good old 'male bonding' time in. Maybe I'd rather start working with someone less moody…"

I heard her huff, then, "So we both know you're going to pick me up, we have a body waiting. We can continue this in the car. I'll be waiting out the front." She hung up before I could say anything.

I couldn't stop the grin on my face, as I ran out of the building.

* * *

From the state of decomp, I would say he's been here around 2 years, give or take. I'll get Hodgins to check bug activity to confirm though." I was bent over the steel barrel the body was found in.

"So, male, bout 2 yrs. Race?"

"Hmm, brow and nasal ridges suggest Caucasian, but I'll have to get him back to the lab to get a more precise answer for you."

"Cause of death?" Booth looked down into the barrel, then backed off.

"Nothing outwardly obvious. Let's get him back to the Jeffersonian so I can get these bones cleaned up." I stood up and stretched. My back ached from being bent over the barrel. My legs were starting to protest to the run I'd had this morning.

"You heard the doc guys. Let's get this packed up and taken over to the lab."

My stomach grumbled, I looked down at my watch. It was 5pm already. We had an hours drive back to the lab. I hadn't eaten since I'd left my place this morning.

I grabbed my mobile and dialed Cam, while heading back to the car.

"Hey Cam, it's me. There's a body on it's way in. He's in a steel barrel. Not much flesh left on the body, but thought you might want to look and see what you can find. Yep, sure. I'll be there soon." I clicked off, jumped into Booth's SUV, and rested my head back against the seat.

Booth started the car. It's steady hum was soothing.

"Late night planned, then?" Booth's voice cut through the silence.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. See if I can get the bones cleaned tonight." I glared down at my still grumbling tummy.

"Whoa! Was that you're stomach, or some animal I'm unaware of in the back seat?!" He said looking at me in mock horror.

"My stomach. I haven't eaten since I left home this morning. It's now protesting. Think we could get something on the way back to the lab?" I asked hopefully.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Kebabs." Oh yeah, that would definitely curb my hunger at the moment.

"Pushy."

"What?"

"Pushy. You, with dinner. What if I wanted, say, Chinese?" He said shifting his gaze over to me at a red light.

"But, you didn't say what you wanted. You just said 'Sounds like a plan', so I thought I'd suggest what I wanted." How was I being pushy?!

"But the point is you didn't pose 'kebabs' as a question, you just said it, like it was a definitive."

"Fine." I said exasperatedly. "What would you like for dinner then? Does it really matter? Are we going to be having dinner together anyway?"

"Kebabs sound good." He said with a smug grin.

"What was the point of arguing, if you wanted kebabs in the first place?" I huffed. This man was so infuriating at times.

* * *

I dropped Brennan off at the lab after getting our kebabs, and drove home.

Picked up some clothes and drove back.

"How's it going?" I asked Hodgins.

"Yeah, not too shabby. We found a fair bit left in the barrel. Lots of fun squishy bits to look into! Not even my birthday dude!" He punched at my arm.

"Where's the boss lady? Cleaning the bones?"

"Nah, she won't be able to get to that until tomorrow. She's in her office I think."

I walked in to find her trying to keep her eyes open on her couch. Her back was to me. I walked up behind her.

"Time to go home, Bones." I said pulling her up under her arms.

"No, I haven't finished." She protested.

"You can't do anything until tomorrow, so may as well get a good nights sleep. Like last nights, right?"

"Yeah, just like last nights." She looked down at something on her couch.

"Come on, lets go."

"Ok, I guess since I can't get to anything. Although there is paperwork." She said grimacing at the pile on her desk.

"Tomorrow. Tonight, sleep." I said firmly.

I got her in the car, after arguing over whether she would drive herself home. Then got her to her apartment, without her falling asleep.

"Thanks, Booth. Can you pick me up in the morning? My car is at the lab." She said rubbing her eyes with her hands.

"It's ok Bones, I'm staying the night. No need to pick you up!" I said taking off my seat belt.

Her head shot up, "No, Booth. It's fine. I don't need someone there to help me sleep. I'll be fine. Look at me. I'm so tired I'm just going to drop. I'll be fine."

"There were a lot of 'fine's' in that sentence, Bones."

"That's because I will be fine."

"Are you trying to convince yourself, or me?" I looked over at her. She looked like she was having a silent debate with herself.

"I need to work things out for myself, Booth. We're partners, and friends, but I can't expect or want you to put your life on hold for me. I know I have needed someone to help me feel secure over the past few weeks, but I can't anymore. Thank you for being that security, and for all that you've done, I do appreciate it Booth, but I need to get back to how I was, by myself." Her eyes were fixed on mine.

"Right, I guess I'll see you in the morning then." I re-clipped my seat belt and started the car again.

"Please, don't be angry Booth." Her tone pleaded for me to understand, and I should, but the fact was that I'd appointed myself as her guardian, I guess. So being shoved away stung a bit.

I should've seen this coming. But for some reason I didn't.

"It's fine Bones, I'm not angry. Guess I'm just tired too." I smiled over at her. No point in her thinking I was angry at her. I wasn't. It wouldn't help her sleep either.

"Uh, ok, well. Don't worry about picking me up in the morning. I'll just walk to work. It's not that far." She said with a glance at me.

"Sure Bones, I'll see you at the lab sometime tomorrow then." I said evenly.

She leaned over and took my hand. "Booth? Thanks again." Then she jumped out of the car and walked into her building.


	5. Who Was I Trying To Convince?

I closed my door behind me, and rested my head against it.

_Had I just done the right thing?_

I didn't want our relationship to take a step back. We had a good friendship, one I had come to value, but I needed to take that step back. I just hoped he understood that.

I changed and flopped into bed, still debating with myself.

"Guess we'll find out tomorrow," I murmered to my empty room, before falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

I sat there, watching her walk into her apartment building.

She pushed the door and took a quick glance in my direction, gave me a small smile, and disappeared from view.

"_Please, don't be angry Booth. I just need space, to get myself together."_ Her statement kept going over in my head.

What did she mean by that? How far am I meant to step back?

I started the car up, and joined the rush hour traffic.

Do I sit by and watch her slip? I'm meant to be helping her, she's my partner.

What were the rules when they didn't want your help? It's be different if it was a guy.

But Bones was anything but. She was just as stubborn and independant as any male partner, but she had a softness and naievte to her. A part of her that needed protecting. That I had assigned myself too.

Who would've thought. A squint and I, getting along... A squint and anyone in the real world getting along really. Especially after our first few cases together. We argued non-stop. She told me I was one of the most infuriating males ever. Bones always had to get the last say in. Not that, that had really changed.

But she'd crept under my skin somehow. Maybe it was the fact I'd seen her cry. Any female that cries in front of me, and I'm a sucker for punishment really.

Even though she has no concept of the real world, she holds all those around her captivated in her palm. The thing is, she didn't even notice.

* * *

**_"Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart  
Gotta pick myself up where do I start  
Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart, No  
Can't it be easier?  
Can I just change my life?  
I need intervention  
Attention to stop temptation to scream"_**

"Morning everyone. Zack, how's our man from the barrel going?" I said brightly.

I was still tired, but a lot better than I had been lately. I actually slept. Well, for the most part anyway. Then the trill beeping of my phone woke me up at 6am. It was my publicist saying an radio interview had been shifted to this morning, not this afternoon. I'd rung Zack to ask him to take care of the case for me. Good thing, it was 11am already.

"The bones have been cleaned, Dr Brennan. I've found a few nicks on the 10th and 11th ribs. I would say that was the most likely cause of death. Looks as if someone has pushed some sort of blade through through his back, passed through the ribs, and punctured his lung."

"Have we got a definitive on the type of blade and time of death yet?" I asked, looking around the lab.

"Hodgins is going over bug activity to confirm, but by the decomp that was present when he came in, both Dr Sorayan and I concur with 2yrs. The ridging on the ribs from the blade suggests a serrated blade, like a fishing knife." He said confidently, but seemed to looked up at me for approval.

"Good work Zack. I'll leave you to it. Fill me in if there's anything I need to know." I said with a smile.

I started walking towards my office, going through a mental checklist of all I had to do today. Angela's voice rang out across the lab, waking me from my checklist. "Hey Bren, wait up."

"Hey Ange," I sighed, while opening my office door.

"How was the interview?" She asked bouncing onto the couch.

"Not too bad, same old really. I was asked irrelevant questions. I answered somewhat politely." I said with a shrug.

"So was the interviewer cute?" She winked over at me.

"Well, I'm sure some people may have said _she_ was cute, but not really my type." I laughed at my own joke.

"Oh my god, Bren, was that a joke? Did you just crack a joke? Hey, you're in a farily good mood... What did you get up to last night, after Booth took you home?" She had her elbows on her knees, head resting on her palms. Her eyes were glistening with excitement.

I hesitated. I could still see Booth's expression, as I told him I needed my own space again. It had cut me to be the one to hurt him, but I had needed to do it.

"Not much to tell. Booth dropped me home and I went to bed." I said with an air of indifference.

"He didn't come in for dinner?" Ange said with a frown.

"No, I decided to have a night to myself. Is that so strange?" Annoyance started to creep up within me.

"No, it's just, I know Hodgins has been finding it hard to sleep, and has been spending a lot of time with me. I know Booth has been staying a bit. I just assumed..."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't, Ange." Her face dropped. Maybe I'd been too harsh there. "I'm sorry. Look, I had to tell Booth he wasn't staying last night. He had it all planned out, but I really need to sort myself out. I'm not understanding why that's such a hard concept to grasp." I said in frustration. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

"So, you slept through the whole night then?" She looked me in the eye unflinchingly.

"Most of it. Some was interrupted by my publicist." I said casually. She didn't need to know about the nightmare I'd had. At least it was only one.

"I've seen Hodgins. I know you deal with things different than Hodgins, but he still has nightmares. Wakes up thinking he's suffocating..."

"Ange, I'm fine. I just need to work things out for myself. I can't rely on others, it's not logical to rely on others. People will always look out for themselves. I need to do that for myself." I said trying to convince her.

"Sweetie, are you trying to convince me, or yourself...?" She got up, and walked out of my office before I could come up with an appropriate response.

_Was I trying to convince her, or myself?

* * *

_

**_"I don't believe, in the smile that you leave  
When you walk away, and say goodbye. _**

_**It seems so much is left unsaid  
But you can say anything, Oh, anytime you need"**_

I breezed through the sliding doors of The Jeffersonian debating on whether to go see Angela and Hodgins first, or going straight to Bones.

"Booth!" I felt an arm snake through mine, looked down and saw Angela's grinning face.

"Hey Ange. Did you manage to have a chat to Bones, see if she's ok?"

I'd asked Ange and Hodgins to keep an eye on her, ask her if she was ok. If she wasn't going to talk to me, I'd find out through them.

"Yeah, she's fine. She slept more last night. But she is holding back." Ange hesitated and looked up at me before going on. "She's trying to convince herself she can do this alone."

"She probably can, Angela. Bones is one of a kind. If she says she can do it, she probably can. Doesn't mean we can't check up every now and again." I gave her a wink.

"Don't forget, she is just like any other woman inside, Booth." Ange said seriously. At least someone here believed in psychology.

"Yeah, unfortunately thats what I can't forget. If I could, this would be a lot easier." She didn't realise how much that was true.

I unlooped my arm from Angela's and crossed the lab to Bones' office.

She was bent over a file on the edge of her desk. Her back to me.

"Heya Bones." I said brightly.

She didn't look up. It was like she was expecting me. "Booth, how's your morning been?" She asked like we were acquaintances.

I decided to play cool. "Yeah, good. Slow, but good. How's barrel man going?" Stick to work and all will be fine.

"Uh, yeah good. Zack has found cause of death, and Hodgins has confirmed time of death as far as I know. I got in not long ago, so Zack is looking after the case." She said straightening and looking at me over her file.

"You're not working this case?" I frowned. Why wasn't she working this case? She was at the scene.

"No, I've got a lot on at the moment. Zack is a qualified Forensic Anthropologist now. He will do just as well as I would." She said confidently.

She had a lot on? I thought she'd wanted cases.

"What else do you have on, Bones? You're always up for new cases."

"I have a lot of paperwork and other bits and pieces. You said yourself 'I'm not the only Forensic Anthropologist in this town anymore', which is true, so I didn't think you'd mind if I assigned Zack to this case. He needs all the experience we can give him." She said matter-of-factly.

"You're not doing this because 'You need space', are you Bones?" I asked cautiously. I needed to know, even if it hit a nerve.

* * *


	6. Why? Would you miss me?

_"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself...?" _Was still running through my head when Booth waltzed his way into my office.

I heard him, before I saw him. Well, I heard Ange say his name first, then his voice. Funny how just his voice sent shivers down my spine at the moment. I couldn't understand why.

_"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself...?"_

I wasn't stupid. I had heard them talking about me. I knew Booth was worried about me. I knew they all were. I just hadn't realised Booth would share his feelings with Angela.

Over the past month or so, I had come to realise Booth had started to get different feelings for me. Not those, just of a partner.

I hate to be so cynical, but I have no innocence left in me, only hesitance when I meet people. But with Booth, it proved to be different.

I could see the look in his eyes, when his gaze lingered on me for that second too long. The protective, macho male, whenever any other male took some interest in me. Being protected by someone was so foreign to me. I had built myself on being independant.

Although, I missed someone always being there to look out for me. That implicit trust in a certain person, to always be there if and when I need them, and even when I didn't.

Letting someone into my world was a lot to ask from someone. It wouldn't be fair to them, ultimately.

But somehow I loved the feeling being protected again.

Or was it the fact that I liked someone seeing me in that light? Someone seeing me as a woman, not just a "bone lady". Not just a squint. Not the scientist that didn't relate to the "real" world.

I have to admit, Booth confused things. He messes things up in my head, and I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. He's somehow crept under my skin. He's found the key that unlocks my shield to the outside world. One moment he frustrates me, but then he will say just the right thing in the next moment. I don't know what we have between us, but I know I can't do anything to ruin that bond we have. Which is why I have to push him away. Before he comes to hate me. Before I break his heart.

I heard a "Heya Bones." Somewhere in the distance. I recognised it as Booth's voice. I didn't look up. I kept looking over the file I'd read over a hundered times, because I couldn't concentrate.

"Booth, how's your morning been?" I said, somewhat distantly.

"Yeah, good. Slow, but good. How's barrel man going?" His gaze was burning a hole through my back.

Right, so he was playing it cool too. I could play this game.

I answered, still holding the file I'd re-read a million times. "Uh, yeah good. Zack has found cause of death, and Hodgins has confirmed time of death as far as I know. I got in not long ago, so Zack is looking after the case." I'd decided then and there that Zack would be taking over this case. I turned and straightened to look over at him. His gaze was one of pure astonishment.

"You're not working this case?" He look incredulous.

"No, I've got a lot on at the moment. Zack is a qualified Forensic Anthropologist now. He will do just as well as I would." The latter, I utterly believed.

Booth has pushed his way into the sanctuary I had created for myself. Which I find myself both appreciating and hating.

"What else do you have on, Bones? You're always up for new cases."

Why did he have to know me so well?

"I have a lot of paperwork and other bits and pieces. You said yourself 'I'm not the only Forensic Anthropologist in this town anymore', which is true, so I didn't think you'd mind if I assigned Zack to this case. He needs all the experience we can give him." I said definitively.

"You're not doing this because 'You need space', are you Bones?" He seemed to ask me with a worried tone to his voice.

Definitely not a conversation for in the office.

"Why? Would you miss me Booth?" I said with a smirk.

His cheeks actually blushed before he answered. "No! I just don't speak to Zack, so it may cause a bit of a problem if he's being assigned to the case and all." He blubbered.

"Just call me Booth, we could go for coffee." I grinned over at him. I learned my teasing tactics from the best.

"Funny, Bones. Real funny. No seriously. Is that the reason?" His chocolate eyes were intent on mine.

I hesitated. I hate that I feel I have no control when he's in the room. I need that control, sometimes it's all I have.

_How do I tell him that?_

"Booth, I can't do this here. This isn't the place. Can we meet up after work?" I pleaded. I couldn't handle doing this here.

"Bones, we need to talk about this openly. We're partners. We can be honest with each other. I'd like to think we had reached a stage where we could be." He looked like a puppy with eyes that were screaming at me, don't leave me. It was as if he knew what was coming, but was fighting it anyway.

"Don't make me do this now Booth." I couldn't break his heart here. Not with Cam here. Not with everyone else here. I turned away and placed the file on my desk.

I felt his arm around my shoulders. He turned me towards him. "We need to talk about this Bones."

"I know." I muffled into his shoulder, as I rested my forehead against it.

I hate the way he lets me hug him whenever I get emotional. I hate it because I feel like nothing can hurt me in his arms. I hate that he knows when to push and when to let me go. I hate that I don't have to ask for anything from him. He volunteers it all. I hate the fact that I don't actually hate it at all. I need him. That almost scares me as much as the thought of me breaking his heart. Almost.

"8pm at my place work for you?" I asked, as I pulled away.


	7. Butterflies

"You're not doing this because 'You need space', are you Bones?" I asked cautiously. I needed to know, even if it hit a nerve.

Her whole body tensed. Her eyes shot up at me, like a deer caught in a car's headlights, before arched eyebrows and a smirk covered her face.

"Why? Would you miss me Booth?"

_Yes,_ was my first reaction, I started to feel stuffy all of a sudden. The second was to squash it.

"No! I just don't speak to Zack, so it may cause a bit of a problem if he's being assigned to the case and all." I managed to get out. Keep your cool, Booth. Why do I let this woman get under my skin so badly? Anyone else wouldn't have made me react this way.

"Just call me Booth, we could go for coffee." She grinned over at me. So, she was teasing me. What happened to the woman who didn't get anything like this? I wasn't really in the mood for games.

"Funny, Bones. Real funny. No seriously. Is that the reason?" I asked my eyes intent on hers. This was serious, and for once she was making it a joke.

Her spine seemed to stiffen again. She looked worried.

"Booth, I can't do this here. This isn't the place. Can we meet up after work?" Her voice wavered. I'd never heard her voice seem shaky. She always had that air of confidence. Arrogance I guess some would call it, if they didn't know her.

She had seemed to plead. Was she just trying to put me off? This needed to be discussed. I needed to know for my own piece of mind.

Was she pushing me away because "she needed space"?

"Bones, we need to talk about this openly. We're partners. We can be honest with each other. I'd like to think we had reached a stage where we could be." This in all fairness is all we are. Partners. We should be able to discuss things openly.

Was she feeling this 'thing' between us as well? I needed for her to tell me. I needed to know I hadn't just broken up with Cam for a one sided feeling. I needed to know if she was feeling anything more than partners. I needed to know what she was feeling period.

"Don't make me do this now, Booth." Her breath caught on my name. She turned away from me and placed her hands on the edge of her desk, taking deep breaths.

I walked up behind her, my arm snaking along her shoulders, and softly turned her towards me. "We need to talk about this, Bones." She looked up at me with her pleadingly clear blue eyes, before resting her forehead on my shoulder.

"I know. 8pm at my place work for you?" She muffled into my shirt, before facing me again.

"Anytime will work, Bones. As long as we get whatever, 'this', is between us figured out." I said looking down at her.

This conversation could make or break our friendship. Wherever we went with this, I had to tread lightly. The risk of scaring Brennan away was more terrifying than any mission I had ever had in my days as a sniper.

* * *

_"As long as we get whatever, 'this', is between us figured out."_

I knew what 'this' was. I knew where it would go. But I also knew where it couldn't go.

For his sake, more than mine.

I felt what he was feeling. I wanted something to happen, just as much as he did. But my past relationships hadn't ended well. I'd lost a lot of great friendships because of it. Booth and my partnership was one thing I didn't want to screw up because I didn't listen to my head.

The screen bleeped in front of me. I looked up to see a new email, from Paul Kirkmen from UNAM.

I hadn't heard from Paul in months. We were in the same Physical Anthropology class in College together.

Subject line read: Grave found

_Hey Tempe,_

_Long time, no speak huh. Hope The Jeffersonian has been keeping you busy._

_Sorry to just pop up out of the blue, but someone came across a mass grave about 30 miles out of Mexico City, on the outskirts of a village called Teotihuacán. They called us. We're not equipped to deal with this on our own. I was hoping you'd be up for a trip down here, to help us identify the skeletons in the grave._

_We're exhuming the skeletons and transporting them to the coroner's building. It's big enough for us all to work with. _

_All in all it's going to take a while. We're estimating around 2-3 months. Is there any way you'd be willing to come down here for that long to help us out? We'd really appreciate someone with your expertise here. _

_I also heard about the great work you did in New Orleans after Katrina too. You always did have a knack for getting yourself into trouble, didn't you Bren _J

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Say hi to Angela for me._

_Warm regards,_

_Paul._

Maybe this was what Booth would call a godsend. I thought after re reading again.

Maybe space was what we needed to get 'this' sorted out.

"Hey Bren, I have that facial reconstruction of the barrel man finished. Want to see it?" Angela said walking over to my desk.

"Uh, no, that's ok. Zack's looking after the case now." I said still thinking about Mexico.

"Ok, Sweetie, what's up?" She said looking down at me.

"I just got an email from Paul; he's down in Mexico still. They found a mass grave and he's asked me to come down and help identify the bodies. He said to say hi by the way."

"Oh! Paul! I haven't seen Paul in years! So are you going? I don't know why you two didn't end up hooking up. You guys would've been perfect together. Well back then anyway. You need a different kind of guy these days. A sensitive, strong, FBI…"

"That's another conversation I don't need right this second." I interrupted, dropping my face onto my hands.

I felt so exhausted all of a sudden. I rubbed my eyes and looked back up at the screen.

"What's the problem, Bren?" She sounded concerned.

"Ok, you're good with the whole relationship thing, I guess. Booth, as you know, was coming over and making sure I was sleeping and just being Booth. But it's all changed. I know the feelings between us have progressed to more than that of just partners. More than just friends." Ange was already bouncing up and down, "Nothing has happened, Ange. And that's how it needs to stay. But how do I tell him that? He's coming over tonight to discuss what 'this' is between us."

"Oh, Sweetie! Firstly - Finally! We've all been waiting for it to happen!" I rolled my eyes at her. "Secondly – Why can't anything happen? Take a chance. It could be the best thing you ever do. He's not like the others, Bren. He would do anything but hurt you."

"It's not that I'm scared of him hurting me. It's the fact that I know I'll end up hurting him. I don't hold ties to any of the other guys I have been with. I cut them off. Completely. But I can't do that with Booth. Our friendship means too much to me. Not to mention the fact that we work together. What would happen then? I'd have to leave. I couldn't expect him to, since he has Parker here and all. See Ange? It's all too complicated. I couldn't do it to him. The ramifications of this would be disastrous." I couldn't stop the thoughts from tumbling out of my mouth.

"Does he get to have some say in this?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course he does. But it won't change the outcome. We'll still need to just stay the way we are. I've been thinking Mexico could be just the thing we need. Some space. Paul said it could take up to 3 months. I think that's the best plan of action." I said decisively.

"Right, so let me get this straight. You make up your mind, he can say whatever he wants and it won't make any difference. Then you run away to Mexico." She said with a hint of sarcasm.

"I'm not running away. I have been asked to help out in identifying…"

"Yeah Bren, you keep trying to convince yourself of that. But just think, what would you have done if Paul's email hadn't come along?" She threw at me.

I knew what she was getting at. My head and my heart were at war with each other. I had to try and convince my heart that this was the best course of action. It wasn't so thrilled with the idea. I couldn't just turn my emotions off, but I needed to do what was necessary to preserve the friendship I had with everyone. If Booth and I were to get something started and then it all failed, which it would, not only would we suffer, but it would be messy for everyone else here too. I would hate for them to end up taking sides, which inevitably would happen, as that was the way with humans, even when it wasn't necessary. Plus, he was so conventional. He would end up wanting the white picket fence, marriage and kids. They weren't in my plans. I was happy going on with my work, even if that meant doing it alone.

"The outcome would still be the same, but we'd just have to move on quicker. Anyway who are you to judge? Didn't we have a similar conversation when Hodgins asked you out on a date?" I threw back at her, somewhat smugly.

"Look what happened there? It was fantastic. Hodgins and I are just starting, but it's one of the best relationships I've been in. Hodgins actually cares what I think. He shares his thoughts with me. He cares about me, not about what I can do for him. While I was hesitant, well actually, I just didn't want to do it, probably for the same reasons as you, this has actually turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. I actually told him we could only be friends after "the great date", but after you and he were buried, I realized he meant more to me than my fears did. Some advice, don't think with your head for once Bren. You're the smartest person I have ever met, Bren. But you aren't in some areas. Trust Booth, trust yourself." Angela got up and left me to my thoughts after that last sentence.

"How do I trust myself, when I've ruined all my past relationships?" I murmured to my empty office miserably.

* * *

"Bugs, slime, and conspiracy theorist, at your service." Hodgins said answering his phone.

"Hey, Hodgins. Need your help. Wanna meet up with me at the diner? Grab some pie or something?" I tried to pass for casual sounding, but I was getting anxious as the day went on. 8pm was nearing and I had no idea how tonight was gonna pan out.

I decided Hodgins was the best person to talk to, besides Angela. He and Angela had hit this wall, and somehow worked their way through it. I was hoping the same would be the case for Bones and I.

"Is this case related or Brennan related?" I heard the smirk in his voice.

"Just come down to the diner. 5 minutes. I'll buy you whatever you want." I said impatiently.

"Free food?! I'm there!" He said clicking off.

5 minutes later, I was drumming my fingers against the table top, waiting for Hodgins to appear.

I turned my head towards the sound of the door opening. But instead of seeing Hodgins, I saw Angela.

"Hey Booth. Is that pie for me?" She winked at me.

"Hey I'm willing to pass it over if your boyfriend doesn't get here in the next few minutes." I sounded annoyed. I was. Had every right to be.

"Hodgins is meeting up with you? I thought it must have been for Bren. Thought she may have called to meet up with you earlier." She said hopefully.

"So she talked to you about it huh?" I felt stung, knowing that Angela knew more about what was going on than I did.

"Yeah, she didn't intend too, but it just came out. She's really torn up about it Booth. She really does care for you. More than you know." She said seriously.

"How did you guys overcome this Ange? I mean you guys work together and it's all still working out fine, right?" I asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"It's working out fine for us. But that's us, Booth. Don't go in there talking about us. You have to go in there fighting for what you think you two can have. Bren knows what could be there between you too, she's just trying to" Angela paused, seeming to try to get the right word out, "…prevent that from happening, I guess."

"Why? What is she so scared of? Doesn't she know I'm not like the others?" I said to myself, more than to Angela.

"She knows you won't hurt her. She's not worried about that. You'll have to talk to her about it. I've probably already said too much, I just can't help it! We have all been waiting for you two to figure out that you have something together, since, well forever! Just can't believe the moments here, and it's not falling into place!" She was as frustrated as I, apparently.

"What's not falling into place?" Hodgins said slipping his arm around Angela's waist.

"Booth and Brennan." Angela stated dismally.

"Thanks for showing up, Jack. A man needs help, and where are you?! Neck deep in, like, maggots or something." I said with a huff.

"Sorry dude, got caught up. You didn't tell me it was about Brennan, otherwise I would've been here in a shot. So tonight's the big night, huh." He winked at me.

"Yeah, it's 7.30pm. Any last helpful tips for me? Should I get wine? Something?" I was starting to panic for some strange reason.

"Booth, calm down. It's Brennan. Just turn up and be yourself. Let everything just happen." Angela said giving me a hug. "You'll be fine."

I wish I had as much faith as she did. I was absolutely terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing.

"Yeah bud, go show her what she's missing out on!" Hodgins said punching me in the shoulder. "It worked for me!" He winked down at Angela.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Hodgie." She said rolling her eyes at me.

"Wish me luck." I said to the happy couple, then walked out of the diner.

"I'm going to need a heck of a lot of it." I muttered out loud.

* * *

I thought about what I was going to do and say, while I waited or Booth's arrival.

Whether to tell Booth about Mexico, or just to leave it for now.

Order dinner, or make it?

Beer, or no beer?

Should I change?

Ok, Brennan. Settle the nerves down. This is Booth. Just be yourself. It will be fine.

I decided with take out pizza from down the road.

Beer was going to be a side point. If he wanted one, then I'd have one.

Mexico. Mexico... I'd leave that until it came out.

I decided to go with what I was wearing that day, minus the button up shirt. A pair of jeans and a black singlet top. It was hot tonight anyway.

I shoved my hair up into a ponytail. There, that'd do. It wouldn't get in my way now. It seemed to have the most annoying habit of getting in my way at the worst times.

A knock from my door, startled me.

I looked down at my watch. 7.55pm. He was early. Butterflies started going crazy in my stomach. The saying was illogical, but seemed to fit at this precise moment.

"Come on in..." I said opening the door, only to have Booth push his way in and kick the door closed. His eyes were intent on my face, as his body pushed mine against the wall, hands framing my face. Then his lips were on mine. My mouth and body seemed to react automatically. My hands found their way around his shoulders His found my neck and waist. My mind was screaming to stop this. But my body was an unwilling participant in that idea at this moment.


	8. Why do I keep doing this

His hands were pushing the hem of my top up and I moaned as I felt his hands caressing my bare skin. He started trailing kisses down my neck. I shivered as cool air replaced the bare skin on my neck where his lips had just been.

A voice somewhere in the back of my mind, screamed "Mexico" at me.

"Booth..." My breath hitched, as his hands moved up to my rib cage. He licked the hallow of my neck and clavical.

"Booth." I said more urgently. I gently pushed at his chest.

His head shot up and his hands stayed where they were.

"We... Can't." I said deflatedly.

His hands dropped to my waist.

"Why not Brennan? Seemed like we were both enjoying it." He said with a grin. But his eyes showed a glint of fear behind the teasing.

I felt myself flush. I couldn't have denied it if I tried. That was better than any kiss I conjured up between us.

"We need to talk. Something came up today, and you need to know. So as much as I would rather be doing that..." I said, looking at my feet suddenly.

He laced his fingers between mine, and tugged me towards to lounge. "So spill, what was so important that you had to interrupt something that we've both been wanting to do since the gun range, when you told me to "Go and be a cop"." He said chuckling at the memory.

I sat down tentatively and shifted to look him in the eye.

"I got an email today from an old friend, Paul. He's asked me to go down to Mexico and help him out... Wait, you've been wanting to kiss me since Cleo Ellers case?" I asked, somewhat confused. So what was the story with Tessa, Rebecca and Cam?

"Yeah, uhuh. So, Paul? Who is he? And what does he need you to "help" him out with in Mexico?" He made inverted comma's with his fingers over help. Jealous male, table for one.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Paul and I were in the Physical Anthropology class in college. He now works for UNAM in Mexico. Someone found a grave site about 30kms out of Mexico City, and he's asked me to go down and help identify the bodies." I looked down at our still interwoven hands.

"So, whats the problem?" He said casually. "You did that in New Orleans... Oh wait, no, if this is going to turn out like some creepy mumbo jumbo sect situation again, you're not going without me." Teasing, he was teasing me.

I felt a pang of disappointment. Shouldn't I be relieved he took that news so happily.

"One, you're not coming, mass graves wouldn't be your thing, believe me. Two, it's going to take at least two months, if not three." I cautiously looked up into his eyes.

"Three months, Bones?" He looked incredulous.

"Yeah, so Paul said." I untangled my hand from his and placed it in my lap.

"Who's going to handle our cases here? You can't go. What if we have an urgent case?" He demanded. His face seemed to pale, as he moved closer to me.

"Zack can take care of those. He'll manage fine without me." I said confidently.

"He'll manage. But I don't think I will, Bones." He said softly.

I knew this topic would have to come up, but the dread hit me like a block of cement in the pit of my stomach.

"Look, I can't deny I have feelings for you. I do. Obviously you feel the same..." I started, not sure where to take it.

"I can hear a but coming, and that's not what I want. I need a reason." He said with such a fervent look in his eyes, all my reasonings slipped away from me.

"I, uh...We can't because we... Because we work together." I sputtered. I was like a fumbling teenager, not a qualified PHD. Get it together Brennan!

Hesitantly, I looked up into his eyes. He was squinting down at me. The irony would have been amusing in any other circumstance.

"That's not a reason in my book, Bones. You need to give me something better than that to accept you not making any effort towards "us"."

"There can't be any "us", Booth." My hands started fidgeting. Was it stuffy in here?

I was trying for the brave front. I was desperately hoping my eye's weren't giving my distressed state.

"Can't? Or won't?" He thrust at me.

Nothing had happened and I was hurting him already. I could hear it in the tone of his voice. The way his eyes were piercing mine.

"What difference does it make? The eventuality will be the same no matter what way you look at it." My heart was being crushed with every breath I took.

"Why can't you stop thinking with your head for once Bones? Why can't you just feel your way through things?" He said sharply. I could see the veil of hurt behind his strong front.

"Why do I keep doing this to people?" I murmured to myself.

* * *

I thought about what I was going to do and say all the way from the diner, to Bones' apartment.

I knocked on her door. I planned on starting off with a plan of attack. Telling her exactly what "this" was and why we should fight for "it".

"Come on in." She said as she opened the door. Something overcame me I had to kiss her. The look on her face told me, it may be the only time I would get to do it.

I pushed my way in, kicked the door closed with my heel. I backed her against the wall and crushed my lips against hers. She seemed to stiffen for a second, then responded. Her mouth opened to me and her arms wrapped around my shoulders. My arm encircled her waist, as I savoured the taste and feel of her in my arms.

Her singlet top seemed to become a hinderance, I itched to feel her skin.

My hands pushed up her singlet top and let my hands roam over her soft skin. She moaned into my mouth as my hands started making their way up her torso.

I trailed kisses down her neck. Her scent and taste were driving me crazy. I needed to feel more of her.

My hands worked their way up to her rib cage. "Booth..." I licked the hallow where her neck and collar bone met.

I felt a push at my chest. "Booth." A feeling of dread came over me. My hands lingered on her rib cage, but I looked up at her flushed face.

"We... Can't." She said shaking her head sadly.

I grinned at her, even though behind this facade, fear was all I felt. "Why not Brennan? Seemed like we were both enjoying it."

"We need to talk. Something came up today..."

I grabbed her hand, and pulled her towards the couch. Keep it cool, Booth.

"So spill, what was so important that you had to interrupt something that we've both been wanting to do since the gun range, when you told me to "Go and be a cop"." I couln't help the chuckle that came out. Typical Bones. The second time we work together and she's in my face and challenging everything I say. Always has to have the last word.

"I got an email today from an old friend, Paul." Who the hell is Paul? "He's asked me to go down to Mexico and help him out... Wait, you've been wanting to kiss me since Cleo Ellers case?" She seemed bewilldered. But then again she did most times when it came to these topics.

Anyway, back to Paul, and Mexico..."Yeah, uhuh. So, Paul? Who is he? And what does he need you to "help" him out with in Mexico?"

I received an eyeroll for my perfectly logical question. "Paul and I were in the Physical Anthropology class in college. He now works for UNAM in Mexico. Someone found a grave site about 30kms out of Mexico City, and he's asked me to go down and help identify the bodies."

Ok, so Paul was no one to be worrying about. I hoped.

"So, whats the problem?" I aimed for a casual tone. "You did that in New Orleans... Oh wait, no, if this is going to turn out like some creepy mumbo jumbo sect situation again, you're not going without me." Ok, so I was teasing her, but really, I would rather go with her, just in case. Bones seems to find trouble, even when she's not searching for it.

"One, you're not coming, mass graves wouldn't be your thing, believe me. Two, it's going to take at least two months, if not three." She looked up at me, with a worried look on her face. Three months? I tried to let that sink in.

"Three months, Bones?" I stuttered. She couldn't leave for three months.

She unlaced our hands. I looked down into my now empty palm, in despair. She couldn't leave. Not now, not for that long.

"Who's going to handle our cases here? You can't go. What if we have an urgent case?"

"Zack can take care of those. He'll manage fine without me." Who cares about Zack?

"He'll manage. But I don't think I will, Bones." I said softly, looking up into her eyes.

"Look, I can't deny I have feelings for you. I do. Obviously you feel the same..." She stopped.

There was a "but" coming. "But" didn't belong in this conversation.

I wasn't accepting a but, without a damn good reason. "I can hear a but coming, and that's not what I want. I need a reason."

"I, uh...We can't because we... Because we work together." She sputtered.

I narrowed my eyes at her. I couldn't work her out at times.

"That's not a reason in my book, Bones. You need to give me something better than that to accept you not making any effort towards "us"."

She started fidgeting. Then said softly, "There can't be any "us", Booth."

She was warring against herself. I could see her mind ticking over. I wasn't going to make it easy for her.

"Can't? Or won't?" I fired back.

"What difference does it make? The eventuality will be the same no matter what way you look at it." Why was this woman so damn difficult? Why couldn't she just be a woman for once, and stop being so "logical".

"Why can't you stop thinking with your head for once Bones? Why can't you just feel your way through things?" I needed for her to know that she was hurting me, that I wasn't giving up on this anytime soon. This wasn't just about her, and her insecurities. She needed to trust me.

She put her head in her hands and murmured, "Why do I keep doing this to people?"

"I don't know, but it's going to stop with me. Cos I'm not giving up on this anytime soon." I said definitively.

"Booth, think about the rammifications. Think about work, the rest of our team. If this didn't work, it would be a huge thing. Not just for us, but for everyone around us aswell." She pleaded for me to understand.

Which I did, to a degree. But it had nothing to do with anything at the moment.

"What if this doesn't go bad? What if it's something that ends up being right for both of us? How can you not be willing to give that a go, just incase something may or may not happen? _That_ isn't logical Bones."

"I know it's not, but it is to me. I don't want to ruin what we have right now, on the chance we may be doing the right thing. I don't want to take that chance and end up hurting you. I don't think I could bear to be the one to do that to you, Booth. " She said determinedly.

"Why think of that now? Can we just take one day at a time? Why does everything need to be mapped out now? That's not how life works Bones. You, of all people know that." I tried to reason.

* * *

"What if this doesn't go bad? What if it's something that ends up being right for both of us? How can you not be willing to give that a go, just incase something may or may not happen? _That_ isn't logical Bones."

I knew it wasn't logical to most people. Why ruin something before it began, right?

_If you find someone you can trust, don't let them go Tempe._ Don't worry Dad, I'm not planning on letting this one go.

"I know it's not, but it is to me. I don't want to ruin what we have right now, on the chance we may be doing the right thing. I don't want to take that chance and end up hurting you. I don't think I could bear to do that to you too, Booth. "

"Why think of that now? Can we just take one day at a time? Why does everything need to be mapped out now? That's not how life works Bones. You, of all people know that."

Things _did_ need to be mapped out. Even if life veered off that path, you still had the road to go back to, to find your way back on track again.

"Booth, please don't make this any harder on me, than it already is. I would love to be like you and let go of my control, but I can't this time. There is too much to lose. I've done it before and lost a good friend. You are one I can't lose. Please, you mean too much to me." Tears started to silently spill down my cheeks. I hadn't intended to give this much away.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath, ready to face whatever was about to be thrown at me.

Instead I felt a thumb wipe away a tear on my cheek. His hand started caressing my cheek and my head involuntarily turned into his palm.

I opened my eyes to find him looking at me with a mixture of pain and tenderness.

"You had to go and cry, didn't you. You know I'm a push over for a woman who cries." He smiled down at me, as he scooted closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"No... I didn't mean..." I spluttered.

"It's ok Bones. I was teasing you. I guess, if the only way for us to be near each other is as friends, at the moment, then that's what I'll take. I'm not saying I don't expect it to change in the future, cos I'm still not giving up on us. But I will take what I can get at the moment. Just promise me you won't rule us out, if you feel the same after you get back from Mexico." He looked down at me with a sad, but hopeful smile.

"Not that I told you I actually was going. Space could be what we need to sort this out. Maybe it's just the fact that we're together all the time? But if it's something else, I guess we'll find out. I don't think I could rule us out, but I can't promise you anything at the same time, Booth." I said somberly.

"As I said Bones, at the moment, I will take what I can to be near you. I'd rather have you in my life, than not. But later on, there are no promises. Hey does that mean you're not going to Mexico?"

"I actually responded to Paul already and said I would go and help. I leave in two days." I was a lot more heart sick about this that I thought I would be. Maybe it was because Booth wasn't fighting anymore. It was like he was silently broken, but hanging on to what he could.

"Want me to take you to the airport?" He said fingering a stray piece of my hair.


	9. I think I've made a mistake

Hey all,

Thanks for the reviews and encouragement, I appreciate it! This is the last chapter, so hope you enjoyed the fic.

* * *

"...Tempe? Earth to Temperance." Paul was waving his hands in front of my face. I came back to the present.

"Sorry Paul. Guess today has taken its toll on me. I'm pretty tired tonight." I said distractedly. I assumed my drifting thoughts about Booth would taper off as time went by. But if anything they'd increased.

Paul smiled at me over the steel autopsy table. "How bout we leave these guys until tomorrow and grab something to eat?"

"That sounds like a plan to me." I smiled back. Distraction could be good. Although we had already tried this. "Just let me go back to my room and have a shower. Meet you in the lobby at 7pm?"

Ever since I'd come down to Mexico to help Paul out, all the crew had been going out to a local restaurant for dinner a few nights a week. I didn't go every night, but the companionship was welcomed, when I did.

I'd been going to my room and logging onto my laptop most nights. I missed Ange, Hodgins and Zack more than I usually did on my trips away.

I'd gotten emails off them most days. Angela would ask how the weather is, how Paul was, if there were any good looking guys down here. Zack would ask about things to do with the cases he was working on with Booth. Hodgins would just jump in on others' emails and add his "two cents" in.

Booth. Booth had emailed me a few times too. His emails had made me the most homesick of all.

At first, they would entail how things were. How he and Zack we getting along. Apparently they had reached a level of communication that was "working for them". He'd drop little lines like, "If you were here, this wouldn't have happened", and "The banter just isn't the same with Zack, he doesn't bite back like you do".

He'd ask how the identifications were going, and how Paul was. When I was going to be back. He taunted me about finding excuses to come down there and drag me back.

_When was I going to go back?_ If I'd had my way, I would've gone back after the second week. But they really did need all the help they could get down here.

_"Just promise me you won't rule us out, if you feel the same after you get back from Mexico."_

His statement kept running through my head. I didn't feel the same anymore. In fact, if anything my feelings had deepened. I missed him terribly. I had gone to write so many emails to tell Booth that I missed him, but the words seemed lame on email.

So I had stuck with the safe topics of work and asking questions about home.

Hey Booth,

What are you up to tomorrow? Any exciting cases happening?

Brennan.

* * *

I paced around waiting for the results from Hodgins. I wasn't in a good mood today, I knew that. Unfortunately, so did everyone else. I didn't mean to snap at them, it just happened when I was stressed.

I kept unconsciously looking over to Bones' darkened office.

I didn't think I'd miss her this much. Even when she was in New Orleans the time passed quicker. But then again we hadn't discussed "us" before she left for New Orleans.

I kept trying to think of ways to get her back up here. Unfortunately Zack was doing a brilliant job, as Bones had said he would.

Still it wasn't the same. Angela said she had emailed and said things were going as well as could be expected. I asked her about Paul too.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think you were jealous, Booth." Angela said with a smirk.

"Well I don't this guy, and all I keep hearing that they 'should've hooked up way back when', of course I'm going to get a little... protective." I said defensively. I didn't know this guy; I didn't know what was happening down there.

"Hey dude, no need to worry. Our Dr Brennan is if nothing else, loyal." Hodgins said with a punch on my shoulder.

"She won't do anything, not now she's actually said she had feelings for you. If that hadn't been said it'd be fair game, but she doesn't see Paul that way anyway." Angela said reaffirming Hodgins statement.

"I'm not worried about that. I'm just, worried about her I guess. She's not here. I'm worrying. Stupid, I know." I said shrugging. Not much I could do about it.

"Email and tell her that. No harm in it." Angela suggested.

I raked my hand through my hair. I had already emailed her a dozen times this week, and it was only Wednesday. "I have been emailing."

"Yeah, but I bet it's been all safe email." Ange said with a huff.

"Safe email?" Hodgins said looking over at her.

"Yeah, you know. 'How's the weather', 'how's the dig', 'are you having fun'. All those sorta questions. The kinda questions I'd ask, but I'd ask them for different reasons." She said with a grin.

"What reasons?" Hodgins said wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Rolling her eyes at Hodgins, Angela turned back to me and said, "Just email her, tell her you miss her. You want her back here. See what happens. She can only say no."

What if that is her answer? I thought dismally.

"Ok, got the results for ya bud…" Hodgins said before my thoughts could venture any further.

* * *

I sat impatiently on the sofa in the lobby of my hotel, waiting for Paul to arrive.

Booth had emailed again, and it had thrown me around a bit. My thoughts were all over the place.

_I miss you. _

Three little words. They had taken me by surprise. Those three little words had managed to disarm me.

I thought I could resist him, I thought I was stronger than that. Somehow he's different from what I've known. I didn't see him coming. He'd already stolen my heart, before I had a chance to say no. I hadn't realized, until now.

Tears had stung my eyes when I had read that email. I grabbed the pillow I had brought with me from home and inhaled. The pillow, I found out on the first night, had his scent on it. I'm not sure if it was one of the pillows he had used when he slept on the sofa bed, or if it was from when he dropped me off at the airport.

Either way, it comforted me. Which was silly, but it did nonetheless.

I emailed Angela. I needed advice. I had already emailed tonight and asked about his day tomorrow. Anything I had gone to write back in reply to his last email had seemed meaningless.

Ange,

Booth emailed me three words today. No, not _those,_ three words. All it said was "I miss you".

I don't know what to do. I am needed here, but I don't want to be here anymore. I need to see him. I can't explain what it is, but I need to tell him… I made a mistake.

Bren.

"…Temperance." Again, Paul had woken me from my reverie today.

"Sorry, Paul. Got a bit on my mind." I said, grabbing the hand he offered to help me up.

"You look beautiful, as always." He said smiling down at me.

I blushed slightly. "Thanks, and uh, you look good too." He was wearing jeans and a polo shirt. I'd put on a casual skirt and top.

"So, where are the others?" I asked, when we were seated at the restaurant.

"Not coming tonight, just us two. Is that ok?" Paul said looking slightly shy.

"Yeah, that's fine." I said indifferently.

"So what's been on your mind?" He probed.

"Home." It slipped out, before I had a chance to think about it.

"You're not usually homesick, Tempe. Anything in particular?"

"No, just missing the lab and Angela, I guess. My own bed. You know, all those things that aren't important until you don't have them in front of you." An image of my pillow being flattened between Booth and myself, after I strode over to him and kissed him at the airport flashed in my mind.

I hadn't planed too. It was just something I needed to do before getting on the plane. It was meant to be a gentle kiss goodbye, but ended with us both gasping for breath. My bags had ended up dropping to the floor, my arms going around his neck, as he grasped my waist…

"…welcome, but you know that."

"Sorry, what was that? I got lost in my thoughts again. Not sure if I'm going to be the best company tonight." I apologized.

"I said, you could stay at my place, you're always welcome, but you know that." He looked up at me.

"I couldn't put you out like that, Paul. Thank you though, I appreciate the sentiment." I smiled over at him.

"Well, it wouldn't be putting me out. I'd be more than happy to have you. Actually, I was kind of hoping you would come and stay. Maybe pick up where we left off in college."

This was not a conversation I wanted. My heart sunk.

"Paul, college, was college. Back then was different. We're both very changed people now." I said softly.

"I still have feelings for you Tempe." He said bluntly.

"I'm sorry Paul, the only feelings I have for you are as a friend. My situation is... complicated at the moment." I looked down at my hands on the white table cloth.

"Well, I hope whoever he is, realizes how lucky he is." Paul stated sadly.

"What makes you think there is a 'he'? I asked curiously.

"You can just tell, Tempe. The way you drift off into your thoughts, then you'll smile for no apparent reason. You treat him nicely ok? Make sure he knows how you should be treated too." He smiled at me and grabbed my hand across the table.

"He does. He treats me better than I ever realized." I started to drift off into my thoughts again and then said, "If only Angela could hear this conversation." I laughed. "She always wanted to know why we didn't 'get together'."

"She still doesn't know? That's talent! Usually nothing slips past Ms Montenegro." He shook his head, and grinned. "While I'm jealous of this guy, I have to say don't let him go Tempe, for him to be on your mind so much, he must mean something to you."

"Funnily, he's jealous of you too. Only because he hasn't met you though." I laughed as I thought back to Booth's remark about Paul 'needing my 'help''.

"Sounds like a smart guy. If you were mine, I'd be pretty protective of you too." He said playing with my hand.

"We're not together." I stated simply, pulling my hand out of his grasp.

"Your terms, or his?" He said quietly.

"Mine, but…" I haltered.

"But…?" Paul prompted.

"I think I made a mistake." I shook my head sadly.

"Well then fix it." He said, like it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

"How? I know he misses me, he told me so. But I don't want to be left stranded, when I end up breaking it off, as I always do. I don't want to hurt this one, Paul. I don't want to hurt the relationship we already have. But at the same time, I need more than the friendship we have. There's more involved now." I was so confused by this. Relationships had been relatively easy for me in the adult world. I felt tears prick the back of my eyelids again.

"There's always more involved, Tempe. If you know you've made a mistake, go, fix it. Go home and tell him what you're feeling. Take it one step at a time and don't always think that things will end badly. We only have a few more days work here, go home Tempe." His eyes pleaded with me to go. He really was a kind hearted guy.

"You're right. I need to fix this." I leaned over the table and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Any woman would be lucky to have you by their side. Thank you." I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.

I turned and looked back at Paul through the glass pane of the door, before heading back to my room and booking a flight back to DC.

There was a flight leaving at 1am, getting me back to DC at 6am, give or take. Which means I could be at Booth's place by 7am, traffic willing, before he leaves for work.

With my heart pounding in my chest, I booked it, packed up my belongings and headed for the airport.

* * *

I couldn't think of what else to write but, I miss you.

Anything else seemed too over done. Or not enough. So that's all I sent.

I hoped it got the message across. I hoped she would come home soon. Hoped most of all for her to reply to my email.

I had replied to her earlier email saying there was nothing on my agenda tomorrow. I was planning on going into work a bit later, unless something came up. But other than that, just another say in the office. Might go harrass the squints, but see what happens.

My screen bleeped in front of me. I hesitated before opening it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see the response...

All it had were lyrics...

"Must be brave, and we must be strong  
Cannot say what we've known all along  
How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you here in my arms?  
How does one waltz away from all of the memories?  
How do I not miss you when you are gone?"

A weight felt like it had been lifted off my heart. I smiled at the screen. Trust Bones not to write a simple 'I miss you too' back to me.

I clicked on the reply button.

"So when are you coming home?" Was all I wrote.

"Sooner than you think." Was the response.

* * *

I marched through to the baggage claim in DC airport. Picked up my bags and went to hail a cab.

My heart was thudding in my chest. Butterflies were going crazy in my stomach. I analysed it down to being more anticipation, than fear.

I had no idea what I wanted to say, except for "I made a mistake" and maybe a "forgive me". Maybe.

I jumped out of the cab out the front of Booth's place at 7.25am. Traffic hadn't been too bad, and I'd had a very chatty cab driver. Funnily, I didn't feel much like talking. That much I told him.

I headed for the elevator, hoping Booth hadn't left for work yet. I knew he was going in a bit later, but something could've come up.

I checked my appearance out in the mirrored walls of the elevator. Not too bad. Jeans, top, hair a bit messy, but ok. No makeup...

The elevator announced my arrival on Booth's floor with a shrill "Ding"!

My feet seemed to carry me to his door on their own accord.

I knocked and took one last, deep breath.

Then, there he was. He just stood there staring back at me. He seemed stunned to see me.

Granted I hadn't told anyone I was coming back today though.

"I made a mistake..." I whispered before launching myself into his arms.

"I made a huge mistake." I muffled into his shirt, as he pushed the door closed.

"So did I, Bones. I never should have let you walk out. I should've asked you to stay. I missed you like crazy." He said into my hair.

"I missed you too." I said shyly.

"See? Now was that so hard to say? Instead you send me this long email..." He teased.

I slapped his arm. "It was not long. And I didn't think 'I miss you too' covered what I wanted to say." I said defensively.

"So where does this leave us?" He asked quietly.

"Take it one step at a time. I can promise you the present. The future is all stuff and nonsense, at the moment." I looked up at him, hoping to see an understanding of some sort.

He looked down at me and smiled, "The present is all I could ever want, Bones."

Then his lips touched mine, and I felt like I was home. He kissed me like he was never going to let go.


End file.
